When is someone officially being raped?

Okay, so i was wondering when exactly can yo usay you've been raped? because i feel like i was raped when my (EX)bf Forced me (like held me down) to do oral on him and stuff like that and then he did stuff like that to me even though i said to stop ( He did basicaly everything but actual sexx). so i'm wondering if that's rape... because i wan't to tell my current bf what happened and i REALLY don't feel like explaining it ALL to him so can i just sum it up as i was raped?